Mr Chaos
by Nights In The City
Summary: The wall was a portal, one now used on a daily basis by the people of the world. Was originally my piece for NaNoWriMo then I got Mono...Johnny returns from where he went.
1. He's Back

There is a world in which we are and there was a world in which we are not. And by 'are not', I mean we were never born, we never will be born and will, thusly never exist in. But I suppose we are lucky. I have heard terrible things about this world. Only a select few people can go into this world. It all started with one man, the most unlikely man, who is known only as Mr. C. He was a strange man; some even say he was a mass murderer. But, I think differently. I think the portal he created for us will further our world. Before his portal, all we knew was this one, this terrible, world. He expanded our horizons. It used to be that anyone and everyone was allowed through but now, only the 'best and brightest' of our world may go to this magical place. Political ambassadors, of course, are always going in and out.

Let me explain this a little bit better, Mr.C was a strange, disturbed man. He would go into the other world and cause little pockets of chaos. Obviously, he wasn't the best guy around but in the end, he was kind enough to let others go in and out of the portal. The 'portal' is basically a small, black hole. It pulls us through and brings us to our parallel world. The differences are so miniscule that we have begun to blend our two worlds into one.

"Godammit! Get off of the fucking computer, Todd." That's my friend, Pepito. He's a pretty famous guy.

"I'm writing the story of our world if you don't mind. Besides, aren't you supposed to be leaving?" We've been friends since we were young'uns.

"Well, I _am_ but I was_ hoping_ that my best friend would see me off." He had a quick temper, which had become even quicker since his father handed over the reins of the family 'business'.

"I'm sorry, I suppose I can take a break, just for you." I'm not sure if you've gathered this or not, but he is going through the portal. See, his father was a very famous man. One of the _most_ famous men is what should be said. No, his father was not an actor or a politician. His father was Satan, The Devil. Which means, of course, that Pepito is the Anti-Christ. Not that he's necessarily against Christ. He's just the Second Coming, The Prince of Darkness, etcetera, etcetera. His mother is a retired social worker. In fact, she is the reason I am no longer in the insane asylum I was committed to when I was eight.

See, my parents were not what one would call good people. My mother was always popping prescription medication and my father just flat out hated me. It never escalated into full on abuse but it was always neglect. I took care of myself from day one. It is kind of hard to entirely blame them for how they treated me, though I _do_ blame them for ninety-nine-point-nine-percent of it. I do understand that they never wanted me, though. It's painful but I do know that they would probably have been much happier without me.

But back to the situation with the insane asylum and my being committed to it. I broke out at one point and went to Pepito's house I was quickly found and sent back but soon after, Pepito's mother retrieved me and took me in as her own. With one condition, I had to give up my teddy bear, Shmee. I'm not too upset by this, the bear was fucking crazy and wanted me to kill and maim and shit, but he had been my security blanket and my only friend. But there was no fucking way I was staying in the asylum. Especially not with the Crazy Neighbor Man there doing that bullshit sleep study thing.

Maybe I should explain Crazy Neighbor Man. He was my ex-next door neighbor. He was also very creepy and he used to come to me covered in blood asking me for medical supplies. And when I say "he used to come to me" I mean he'd climb up the tree outside of my window, break in and tell me to get him different things. Then he would proceed to tell me hideous "bedtime stories" that would cause disturbing nightmares. But he was nice enough. I knew he cared, anyways. And now, he's disappeared and famous. There has been a worldwide search for the first person to treat me like family that has been going on for years.

"So, are you going to take that break now, amigo? Or should I come back in a few years?" Pepito looked at me mockingly.

"Fine. I just feel so…inspired today. Like I need to get the story out." I am a writer. One of my few passions in life is telling tales. That and dancing. Well, maybe not dancing. Okay, definitely not dancing. But I do like writing.

"I'll let you get back to your story in a moment I just wanted to say goodbye, hombre." He put on a small smile.

"You know I'm going to miss you. After all, we're siblings." That's been our running joke ever since his mother took custody. At first I was scared but once I came out of my shell, things improved. I'd even made a couple of other friends. Of course they were all as weird as me, but I don't mind.

"That's right, mí hermano, we'll forever be brothers." His impish grin was completely contagious and I could automatically feel the muscles tightening to expose my teeth. I then proceeded to grab him and give him the biggest hug I could without feeling like an over-emotional, hot, mess. "Whoa, you do realize I'll be back in a couple of days, right?"

"Well, you told me to say goodbye. Besides, you never know what can happen." As he left my room, I couldn't help but think about everything that could happen to him. As it is, he shouldn't even be going to these meetings. We aren't all that old. Only about 17 to be honest. He shouldn't have started his life's mission this early. Meetings in the other world with their nation's leaders. But he did get to see a lot of exciting things.

On the other hand, think about all of the hideous things that could happen to him. Fuck. My mind is evil. All I can think about is the portal closing or him getting killed in the other world or a combination of the two. All of the what-ifs swirling around my head making me upset, ugh. I should just banish those thoughts. If anything, I will see him on Monday. Thinking about it more, maybe I should just get out of the house for the weekend, too. I could always go to Dib's. His father is always glad to see me and I think that would be some good fun. Dib has been friends with Pepito and I since we met him in the sixth grade. I remember seeing him from across the hall, his sythe shaped cow-lick towering over everyone's heads. Just like we were targeted, he was targeted though he was admittedly a bit more psychotic at that point than we were but he never let that get it down. Well, that's how it seemed. But then one day I go into his bedroom, unannounced, just stopping by for a visit and I see him sitting there, just, like, sobbing. He just fell apart. He had been cutting himself. A dirty habit that he never let anyone in on. I remember his words as if they were spoken here and now. He looked at me and said 'I can't stand this, everyday, sun up to sun down, everyone just hates me. And why shouldn't they? I'm just a screw up. I'm not _worth_ anything. I don't know how much longer I can deal with this.' I know I should have said something to someone. After all, that's what they tell you to do. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I check on him every day, just to make sure he isn't going to die. But, for a few years now, I've been hiding his secret. I know he would never take it too far. He never could, there's too much riding on him. Too many people he feels he needs to save. In any case, I've been acting as his therapist and his best friend since we were about thirteen, when I found out about his self-mutilation issues. His family appreciates that I've helped him tone himself down a bit.

I went for my phone to call Dib and I have a missed call, a text message and a voice-mail. I read the text first since that is the easiest to do. All it was was a phone number. I noticed that the area code was the same as my old neighborhood (one never forgets their first phone number). As I sat there staring, I thought about who it could be. After all, the portal _was_ in my old neighborhood, in fact it was right next door to my old house: in the crazy neighbor man's house. Oh, man, I did forget to mention that. Yeah, my crazy neighbor man was Mr. C. Though I did call him something else. He asked me to call him Johnny or Nny. In a way, I do wish he had stayed longer, because no matter how much he scared me or how many bodies they found, I still missed him and I still thought of him as family. He was like a deranged big brother. I loved him in a way.

I decided that I would go back to the text message, if necessary after listening to the voice-mail. "Hey, Squeegee, it's been some fucking time." Holy fucking SHIT, it was Nny. "I'm back. Call me back, I'd like to see you." His voice was…dead. Yeah, that's probably the best way to describe it. Maybe…empty? One of those words anyways. But I suppose that doesn't matter. I suppose I should just call him back.

* Ring *

* Riiiing *

* Riiiiiing*

* Ring *

"…Hello?" He answered quietly, as though afraid and curious.

"Hi, it's—"

"Squeegee. I knew you'd call back. I got your number from the school."

"They gave you my cell-phone number?"

"Well, they gave me your new mom's work number who gave me your cell number." Like it should have been obvious.

"Oh. So, you're back?"

"Yeah, for now. I missed you."

"You know, I missed you too, Nny."

"So you do remember me. I wasn't so sure. Reverend Meat insisted you wouldn't, in fact. He said that I would have to rebuild from scratch and that would be my just dessert for abandoning you and shit."

"I don't think I could ever forget you."

"Oh, sorry." He sounded disappointed. I felt a burst of guilt and realized that he had misunderstood what I had been trying to tell him.

"No, no, no, that's not what I mean. It's just, you were kind of…my first family member type thingy. And I've missed you a lot."


	2. The Son of SUPERTOAST tm

"No, no, no, that's not what I mean. It's just; you were kind of…my first family member type thingy. And I've missed you a lot." It was hard for me to think about how many disaster scenarios had played through my mind regarding him for the past nine years. Even though he had been gone almost double the amount the time he'd been around, I still felt like I was being deprived of something when he wasn't there. "We should hang out."

"Um…yeah, th-that, that sounds…good." He seemed shocked that I would want to see him. "Where?"

"Well, I've been staying with the Diablo's, they adopted me when I was almost nine."

"Oh. I don't think I can go there. Senior Diablo…we've had issues…"

"You know him?" This was very confusing considering Senior Diablo is the Devil and, thusly, spends his days in Hell.

"Well, I died once. Just before I left. Remember how my hair changed?" At that moment all the pieces of the puzzle slipped into place. Holy shit. That gunshot, the screams, his being bald except for two, long, blue tendrils of hair. He died.

"How'd you die?"

"I accidentally killed myself." Accidentally?

"Accidentally?"

"Yeah, well, accidentally on purpose. I decided that I wanted to die. But then I changed my mind but I had set up this contraption that would kill me if I answered the phone. And that ended up being the only time someone called me." Needless to say, it was quite a bit to take in all at once.

"So, you went to hell?"

"Well, first I went to heaven."

"You? You, of all people went to heaven?" This was a bit confusing. When I was younger I had seen him cut off a mans arm, bash his skull open and then rip his brain out, while the man was still alive and screaming.

"Yeah. Only for a bit, though. In heaven they have head 'splody powers. I blew up a nun's head. But then she returned the favor. I cause quite a mess. So, they sent me to hell."

"How was that?" I knew what the basement was like, but that was more of a purgatory.

"It was just like this world. Only more…extreme I suppose. And the Devil decided to dress as a cheerleader to try and scare me." Now that is something I would have _loved_ to see. The idea of it was completely perplexing and fascinating. I tried so hard to create that mental image but it simply couldn't be done.

"What…the _fuck._ Bullshit, he would never do that." Well…there was that one time, but that was Halloween.

"No, seriously, because his real form didn't scare me and everyone knows cheerleaders are pure evil." That is true; I once asked a cheerleader for the time and she responded by throwing up pea soup on me. Needless to say I ran away screaming.

"They _are_ disturbing. So, where should we meet up? There's always the old 24-7 outside of town. I think they still have brainfreezies and Senior Nacho chips. We could just hang out there." I remembered him bringing me those once. I'm pretty sure he liked them a lot.

"_They still have BRAINFREEZIES!?_" He whispered this intensely into the phone.

"I'm thinking you haven't had them in a while?"

"_No!_" His voice stayed intense but grew a bit louder.

"Well, I'll meet you there in," I looked at my clock, 3:27PM flashed in blocky, red, numbers, "an hour and a half. So, about five. Does that work?"

"Yeah, of course." He hung up without another word. I wondered what he would now look like, would he be just as thin? Would he be wearing those same types of clothes? Would his eyes be sunken? Would he still be sleep deprived? Would he still be mentally deranged? I would know soon enough so I should probably just banish the thoughts from my mind and call Dib.

I picked up my phone again and went to his name in my phone book. I pressed the little, green, phone shaped button and listened to the ringing.

"Yeah?" He picked up on the fourth ring, blunt as usual.

"Hey, I was wondering if I could stay over for the weekend?"

"Well, I have to ask my father, but you know how Professor Membrane is, he doesn't care as long as we don't break any scientific laws." His father was a famous inventor. He was also the creator of Super Toast™.

"Cool! I have a huge surprise for Gaz B-T-W."

"Oh?" I could hear his raised eyebrow.

"And for your father as well. The man who found the portal has returned."

"Ho-ly shit…when?"

"He just called me. Remember, we used to be pretty close. I'm going to see him in an hour and a half. If anything, we'll drop by your place later." I knew that he wanted to meet Nny as badly as the rest of his family, if not more badly. Though they all had different reasons. Professor Membrane believed that Nny was an amazing scientist; Gaz believed that he was an amazing mass murderer and Dib believed that he could tell him more about the paranormal. Dib fancied himself a paranormal investigator of sorts though he mostly targeted this one alien in our school called Zim. Zim was a douche bag. An alien-scum filled douche-bag to be honest. And I didn't really blame Dib for targeting him though I did feel bad that Zim had no friends.

"Wow, really? They would love that. But watch out, you might never be able to get them away from him."

"I'm honestly not too worried about that considering he has a somewhat of a…_caustic_ personality." It was a far from false analysis of Nny. Though I suppose I did make him sound much more mild than I remembered him being.

"But remember, my dad is the most oblivious man in the world." He really was. He didn't even notice that his wife had died until the funeral. Seriously. That's not just a figurative thing. He _really_ did not notice until they were at the funeral home and people were telling him that they were sorry for his loss. But what do I really know? I wasn't even there this is all hearsay. But I there have been times when I have stayed over and his dad didn't even notice that I was there until I was leaving and thanking him for allowing me to stay over.

"Yeah, he really is. Kind of odd that he is a scientist, isn't it?"

"I don't know, I think he'd be even more lost without science. At least that gives his life purpose instead of him just being an oblivious, shambling, shell of a man. At least this way he is a real person with real things in his mind." Dib was an odd fellow. But he did make sense. A lot of it, in fact. I turned my head to look at my flashing clock.

"_Fuck_! Look, Dib, I don't mean to cut the conversation short or anything, but I just realized the time and I really have to get moving. Fuck, sorry man. I'll see you around Six or Six-thirty, though!" I quickly said good-bye and hopped into the shower connected to my room washing as quickly as possible. I dried myself off and realized a little bit too late that I had almost no clothes left that were clean. Except for a horrendous, brightly colored polo and cargo pants. Fuck. I was going to look like a douche bag. Goddammit. Why couldn't Nny have shown up either yesterday or tomorrow? Any day but fucking laundry day. Maybe I could just wear some pajamas. That wouldn't be too bad. Besides, Batman is kind of the shit. I would just do that. So, I threw on my Batman pajamas and told mom I was going down to the 24-7 and that I was going to stay with Dib for the weekend.

I arrived around four fifty-five or something like that. I entered the 24-7 and purchased a chocolate bar, the only normal thing they sold in my opinion, and stood outside nibbling on it for a couple of minutes before Nny showed up.

"You! Are you the person I am looking for! Yes, you are!" A slim finger was pointed in my chocolate eating direction and then an even slimmer figure was running at me.

"SQUEE!" I flinched automatically but that didn't protect me from the bony person wrapping their arms around me and somehow lifting me off of the ground. "What the _fuck!? _Put me down! Put me down! Ahhh!" Nothing was properly registering and before I knew it the figure had plopped me back to the solid, lovely, ground.

"I knew it was you!" He was just as slim, though he did look different. His hair was still blue and he was shorter than me, though only by an inch or so. The biggest difference was his eyes. They still had bags, but they were less severe and they looked more alive. Though I suppose that that was just my effect on him. He hugged me close pulling my head down to his shoulder. "I've missed you."

"Nny, I've missed you too. You seem different." I stayed where I was, finally reunited with the man I considered my brother. My sick, disturbed brother who gave me dead squirrels as presents.

"I suppose I am, I spent the last few years just…traveling. I mostly stayed in the big cities. Mostly I was on the East Coast in New York and Philly. They have some interesting places." He wrapped an arm around me and we walked into the store, my chocolate bar on the ground where I dropped it when I was lifted. We walked straight to the Brainfreezy machine in the middle of the dingy, smelly, store. "Fucking YES! They still have Cherrydoom!" Nny began doing a small, ridiculous dance around the machine. He grabbed the largest cup and filled it up to the brim. Then took another and began to do the same.

"I don't want one that big!" I cried indignantly.

"Who says it's for you?" He honestly questioned. I proceeded to blink wonderingly. I don't know why I assumed he was going to get me one when he loves them and hadn't he hadn't had one in years.

"Oh. Okay." Shrugging it off, I grabbed my own, much smaller cup, and filled it.

"So, how have you been, Squeegee?" He turned to me while sipping on one of his gigantic cups of slush.

"Okay, I suppose. After the insane asylum, Mrs. Diablo insisted that they adopt me. I have my own room there and even the extended family accepts me as flesh and blood. It's nice. To, you know, be loved or at least accepted. I even have a couple of friends. Nothing excessive but I have Pepito and Dib. And I suppose Dib's little sister. Though she is painful."

"Wow, I suppose that's good. At least you haven't been alone all of these years. What do you mean…painful?"

"She likes to hit. But mostly she hits Dib, but not it's only really when he interrupts her video games and shit like that; Dib can be a bit overenthusiastic about things."

"Oh?" Johnny raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"Yeah, he's a paranormal investigator and the son of Professor Membrane."

"Fucking A, I loved that guy's show. And don't even get me _started _on SuperToast!" Nny was gesturing animatedly splashing some of his slush drink onto the floor.

"Wanna meet them? I'm supposed to go over there for the weekend anyways." Nice save.

"Of course! Like I wouldn't want to meet the creator of the thing that bested sliced bread!" He had a slightly crazed look in his eyes.

"Do you have your car still?"

"Yeah, though I'll have to make some space in it for you. And you'll have to hold one of the Brainfreezies while I drive."

"I could drive us. I do know where to go after all."

"Or, I could drive and you could tell me where to go. Do you even have a license? Besides, it would be bad to get pulled over today." Meaning he probably had a corpse or something in his trunk. But he could probably get away with anything. It was probably best to end the argument.

"Okay. You drive. It's not too far from my old school. Just take a left off of Felix Avenue and it's the third house on the right. It'll be pretty hard to miss." I instructed him. We walked up to his car where he disappeared for a second inside before he let me in.

"You can sit in the back if you don't mind getting a little…something…on your pants. Or the passenger seat in the front is okay but it's a little cramped."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: The characters in this story belong to Jhonen Vasquez. The plot is all mine though. Now bugger off and read the story…

"Meh, I can sit next to you." I shrugged my shoulders as though the idea that there was probably blood coating the back seats of his car. "Besides, this way I can make sure we don't get lost."

"Okay." We climbed into the car and he started the engine. "So, what happened to the scared little boy I used to know?"

"He's still here, but once I got rid of Shmee, a lot of the fears became less controlling. Now I can really function."

"You got rid of the horrid little lint bastard?"

"Yeah, part of the terms of my adoption. He was really not good for me. I always kind of knew that but he was my only friend. Once I knew that I was going to have a real family, I didn't really need him."

"Squee, you're a lucky little bastard, y'know that?"

I laughed a little bit. "Yeah, I suppose I am. I mean, what are the odds that I would get adopted by the most powerful person around?"

"You should watch out though. You never know who you can really trust."

"I can trust them. I know I can. I can feel it." It sounds stupid, but when someone takes you into their home, whether they're Satan or not, you appreciate it especially when they treat you like their own.

"I suppose you would know better than I. Just, remember that there's always a place for you with me if you need it, okay?" I could tell he was genuinely worried.

"Don't worry too much about me. I've been doing pretty okay, haven't I? Besides, I'll always consider you my first real family." My heart actually skipped a beat when I said that. It was like admitting I stole the cookie from the cookie jar. Which I didn't, by the way.

"Wow, really?" He looked so shocked, I wasn't sure if he was pleased or upset by this revelation.

"Well, yeah. You were there for me in your own kind of way…it was really great to know that there was actually someone who cared about me even if they did scare me a lot." It was really hard to say these things, but I knew they had to be said sooner or later and sooner was definitely better.

"I always wanted to protect you, you know? You were right to think I cared, how could I not? You were like I was when I was young. I think. I'm not actually sure. At the very least, you had reminded me of something. And I knew that you need me. Or maybe I needed you. In a way, I think I would have been doomed without you, Squeegee." But then he killed himself anyway. So maybe I wasn't really that important. I mean, he didn't care enough about me to not abandon me.

"Why'd you abandon me?" Damn you, mouth, you have betrayed me!

"I'm sorry Squee. It just happened. It really was an accident. I was going to kill myself but then I didn't want to anymore and in my state of shock of getting a phone call, I accidentally tripped the booby trap I had made for myself. And I got shot in the head." I knew the only way a gunshot would be heard coming from his home was if it was used on him. I had seen more of his havoc than he ever knew. I had seen him doing things. I mean, don't get me wrong, he wasn't like, raping someone or anything, just killing and torturing them. And in a way, I saw that as being better than rape. Rape is such a confusing crime. Confusing to the victim. I know that Nny would never do that. The fact that he even hugged me doesn't begin to make sense; he hates human contact, though I suppose he could have gotten over that fear in this long. I don't know. Fuck it.

"I'm sorry, it's just been really tough because I considered you family and it was like, my family deserted me. It didn't make me feel too good about myself…"

He sighed quietly. "Rev. Meat was right then, I did burn a bridge."

"Not exactly, I mean, I'm here right? I'm just not ready to lose you again." I sounded like a whiney little girl talking to her boyfriend. Ugh, that's a really disturbing idea. Fucking brain. Goddamn mental images. It's really horrible to think about me dating him; he's so much older than me and he's a man! I mean, I don't have a problem with homosexuality but I can't see myself being the pitcher so that would make me a catcher and oh my God is that a scary idea. Besides, I like me some ladies. I think. I mean, I've never actually gone on a date but I've always masturbated to women and oh God why am I talking about masturbation? Fuck, fuck, fuck…

"You should know that even when I'm gone I care about you. I feel really guilty for leaving you here with those people and then leaving you in the asylum. I thought about taking you when I saw you then but I couldn't. I was already about to leave again, I had just done the sleep deprivation study for the money, you know."

"Yeah, I understand. Don't worry about me, okay? Just forget about it for the time being. Like I said, you're family. And you always have love for real family." There I go again, sounding like a Lifetime Original. "Sorry that I'm being so clichéd. I just can't figure out other words to use to describe what I mean."

"I think I get it. And you're my family, too, Squeegee." I missed that nickname more than I can say. It was such a great term of endearment it suited me so well.

"Thanks." I smiled softly. We rounded the corner and there was Dib's house in all of its crazy glory. The singed holes where he and Zim would fight in the yard, the broken window Gaz tossed Dib out of when he drank the last Poopsi Cola. Ah, the violence. "Honk your horn." Johnny pressed the horn and didn't let go until someone exited the house. That someone was Dib.

"Todd! I thought you wouldn't be here for a while longer!" He was trying to run but he had obviously been injured in a recent 'battle for Earth' against Zim and was limping pretty badly.

"What happened this time?" I pointedly looked at his bad leg.

"I fell off of the school's roof. And hit the dumpster. And a small child." His voice got quieter with each admission.

I sighed quietly and got out of the car, "c'mon Johnny, I'm going to carry him in, grab the Brainfreezies."

"Ugh, fine." Nny grabbed the slush drinks and climbed out of the car using his skinny butt to slam the car door closed then he followed us into the house.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Yup...no owning for me…

"So, you're Johnny C.?" Dib wasted no time for introductions.

"Yeah, you're Professor Membrane's son?"

"Yeah, my name's Dib I do paranormal investigating. I heard that your neighborhood used to get a lot of abductions?"

"Oh yeah, they always came on Tuesday. Always. They tried abducting me once. Once. That didn't work out too well for them. Aliens are actually dumber than humans for the most part though I suppose that's just because of their reliance on technology. A very good reason, in my opinion anyways, to avoid most technology or to at least know the science behind it." Johnny could be so articulate.

"That sounds extremely accurate considering the alien race I've had to deal with is obsessed with snack foods and expansion. And the one on our planet is not what one would call smart. By any means." Ah, Zim, the sad, green-skinned, 'man', his disguise is a wig and contact lenses. How lazy is that? And then there's GIR, his 'pet dog', a poorly disguised robot. Its disguise is a bright green zip up dog suit. You can see the zipper on its stomach and it talk. Half the time, the idiotic thing doesn't even wear a disguise.

"Do you know what race he is?" It appears that Nny knew more about aliens than I ever knew he did. Then again, all I knew was that he believed that the UFOs came on Tuesdays.

"He's Irken." The most ironic name 'The Irksome Irkens' hilarious. I giggled a little at the horrendous joke my brain had produced.

"What's so funny?" Johnny gave me the oddest look. I couldn't tell them that horrible joke, could I? No, I damned well couldn't. Fuck.

"I…you—I don't know. I just…laughed." LIAR. _Bad_ liar. I wonder who would be the one to look at me strange first. They both just blinked and rolled their eyes.

"You can't lie for shit. You do know that right?" That was Dib. Johnny just started laughing hysterically. Apparently, my ineptitude was hilarious.

"Fine, my brain came up with a really lame joke that made me titter a little bit." That made Johnny laugh even harder though, I'm no sure whether he was laughing at my use of the word 'titter' or at the fact that my brain enjoyed creating horrible jokes.

"It's not that funny," I stated meekly. I waited patiently until Johnny had stopped cackling and Dib had stopped chuckling. "Oh, by the way, fuck both of you. Fuck you with something hard and sandpaper-y. You bitch faces."

"Don't be so angry. We're not trying to offend you or anything." Dib's voice was wavering slightly as he spoke to me.

"Oh, my God, you—you are just…" Johnny couldn't even finish his sentence without his laughter bubbling up through his body. "You, you said titter. And you're a really, really bad liar." Ah, so the fact that I laughed at a corny joke that my own brain created _wasn't_ the problem. It _was_ the silly words. Damn it, I need to not use words that sound like that. So, I'm basically fucked. Seriously fucked. Great. Half of my vocabulary is made of 'goofy' words.

"Whatever, you guys just talk, I'm just going to go upstairs and hang out with Gaz, I suppose…" I felt really uncomfortable talking about aliens ever since I was abducted when I was a small child. It only got worse when I tried talking to Zim on the first day of school. He was so bad at being human that it was scary. I mean like, completely horrifying. He never ate and rarely blinked to start with. Not to mention he was constantly insulting the human race in the least subtle ways possible. Though, I suppose, I'd rather have an incompetent enemy than an over-competent one.

"Gaz is working on another one of her new games." She was constantly creating video games that would never be approved by any society. They were some of the sickest things I had ever seen and were immensely popular on the Internet. Which is pretty fucking scary if you ask me. At least, from what I've seen of them. Then again, I am pretty easy to scare. Well, I think I am.

"Oh. Well, maybe I'll just go hang out in your room 'till you guys are done conversatin'." I figured that I could entertain myself pretty easily in his room.

"You do that." Johnny shooed me out of the room and up the stairs assuming, correctly, that that was where his room was. "Now go, let the big people talk." It was somewhat degrading to be talked down to is such a way but I didn't mind too much considering I was acting a bit like a child, on purpose of course, but none-the-less I was behaving in a pretty inappropriate manner for a seventeen-year-old even though I'm a guy. I still decided to blow a raspberry at him as I went up the stairs and through the first door on my left side into his room. It was painted a Navy blue with black accents; he found those colors comforting.

I decided that I would take a nap and jumped onto his bed. He had a really soft comforter and these amazing down pillows. I could feel myself dozing off immediately. I was sent into the past. I remembered this moment vividly. It was the first time I had met Johnny. It flashed by quickly. I was praying for god to give my father whatever would make him happy. The first abduction. The Defective Meatheads Institution, that was the name of the asylum I was committed to. My childhood was flashing before my eyes. Before I even realized it, the entire process stopped. I was in blank space. The starkest white one could even think of. There was no real floor or ceiling or walls, just this suffocating, white, space. But there was a chair. A simple metal folding chair.

I sat down. I was scared, at first, that the chair wouldn't be able to support me since there wasn't really anything around me to give the chair support. But it was supported. Of course it was, this was all just a fucking dream. But this was a creepy dream. To say the least.

"What the fuck is this…?" I was just sitting there, looking around.

"This is your subconscious mind." A voice said from nowhere, and everywhere.

"No it's not. If this were, there would be way crazier shit that just white-ness. I'm not retarded you know." I wasn't really in the mood for any games. "Can you just let me go and have a normal dream or something?"

"Okay, so maybe this isn't your subconscious but either way, you're not leaving until I'm done with you." The image of a small bear materialized in front of me. "You remember me, right, old friend?"

"How could I not? You tried to drive me insane." That teddy bear fucked up my childhood. "Fuck off."

"No. You may not realize it, but you are endangering the balance of the world. You can't just make that man into someone else, he needs to be a population controller, and so do you. You need to kill. The world needs you to kill. If you don't kill _no one _will live. By denying yourself the kill, you are, in fact, making your fellow 'man' suffer."

"You are so fucking full of shit. I am honestly not even sure why I ever kept you." I spat on his fuzzy little head. "Johnny was right, you are a lint filled bastard."

He jumped up and transformed into a hideous hell beast. I flinched horribly and fell backwards off of the chair, using my arms to protect my face from his attack. "You selfish little shit! After all that I did for you, you dare to _spit on me?!_ You would dare to call me a bastard? I _made _you!" His teeth had grown tremendously sharp and his fur was gritty when it touched my skin.

"Fuck OFF!" I pushed him off risking the injury his teeth, claws, and fur would cause me. I grabbed the chair off of the ground and raised it over my head preparing to bash his fuzzy little head in with it. "Goddamn beast, where are you?" I could feel my right eye twitching.

"You're always going to be mine you know." His voice was no longer corporal. I could feel him in the air and I realized that the only escape would be to wake up. Or to let him kill me. I willed my body to scream. I screamed in the nightmare land, hoping something would work.

I shot up, panting. Gaz was standing over me, her hand curled into a fist raised over her head. "I was only going to punch you if you didn't stop screaming." I saw her slip something out of her hand.

"What was that in your hand? Was-was that a rock? Were you planning on hitting me with a _rock_ in your hand?" I was pretty pissed. I felt sore and I could feel the marks where the bear attacked me.

"So what if I was? What would you have done about it?" She was glaring me down. "I know what you would have done. Nothing. You never do anything about anyone trying something. You're just a chicken shit." She took a step closer to the bed.

"Gaz, fuck off." I was really, really not in the mood to deal with her attitude.

"If you're going to act like this, I think I will just leave." She wasn't really used to me standing up for myself too much. Then again, she'd never threatened me with a rock after a nightmare before.

"If you go downstairs, tell Johnny and Dib that I'm bored and shit." Purposely leaving out my nightmare.

"Yeah, whatever. Who the hell is Johnny?" She stepped closer to me again. I gulped nervously, my momentary attitude gone.

"An old friend of mine if you must know." I said pretending she didn't intimidate me. With that, I forced myself to resist the urge to lie back down and I went over to Dib's computer and started a game of solitaire. The best game ever invented for people who have nothing better to do. Well, that and, like, minesweeper but that's a bit of a give-in.

After about twenty or so minutes of playing, Dib and Johnny came upstairs.

"Have you been playing this whole time?" I'm not sure who asked me.

"What? Oh, um, yeah." I lied, finding it easier this time. I shut the thought of the nightmare out of my mind. "So, you guys had a good talk?"

Dib started talking about their conversation animatedly while Johnny stood proudly, apparently pleased with their conversation as well.

"So, Squee, what's with the lying?" Johnny had come up behind me and put his hand on my head. "Gaz told us about your nightmare, not that we couldn't infer that through the screaming. We're not exactly deaf, you know."

"It was nothing, just a nightmare, I haven't stopped having or anything since I was little." I didn't want to think about that I could soon have to deal with that voice controlling me again. Making me want to destroy. God, I hated this.

"Yeah, whatever. Look, Todd, I don't know what crawled up your ass, but stop being such a little bitch to us." I knew how horribly I was treating both Dib and Johnny and hell, even to an extent, Gaz but I was just so stressed and I couldn't help myself, I was just so horribly pissed off.

"I'm sorry, it's just that I've just been really out of whack. I don't really mean to be acting like this I just can't help it. God, I'm sorry." I pushed my mussed hair out of my face and pinched the bridge of my nose. I almost wanted to break down and just tell them what was wrong. They would understand but I was still worried that they would worry about _me_. "This nightmare just was really, really bad and it just…set me over the edge. I didn't want to lie to you but I just also didn't want you to worry about me and it was all just spinning around in my head and, God, this nightmare just it fucked me up so badly." They were both just looking at me though I could see that their eyes had softened a little bit.

"I get it." Johnny stated simply. I knew they both would, but I just couldn't bring myself to tell them. I knew that it would probably be better if I did, you know, less of a chance for Shmee to get any kind of control over me, but I still couldn't tell them. Even if it meant my sanity. Even if it meant sacrificing what I loved most about myself: my personality.

"Todd, you know you can trust me. I'm not sure why you don't want to tell me, but, I mean, you've been there for me through so much, I don't want you to think I don't want to be there for you like you've been there for me." Dibs eyebrows were scrunched in worry, just like I knew they would. His dark brown eyes pierced me through the thick lenses of his glasses.

"Look, I don't want you to worry about me, okay?" I just blew them off and turned back to the computer to shut it down. "So, how about some food?" That chocolate bar had already left my system and I really needed food. "Chinese? We can eat it out of cartons using our chopsticks to stab our chicken?"

They both knew that I was just trying to avoid the topic of my nightmare but decided to play along for a moment. I knew they would both bring it up again.

"You know, that sounds really good, I haven't had Chinese in years. Mostly I had sandwiches and shit on the road." You could practically hear Johnny salivating at the sound of Chinese.

"And I just haven't eaten all day." This was actually punctuated by a growl emitted from Dibs stomach. "Food, now please."

We decided rather quickly to just order two large containers of fried rice with pork and three orders of whatever random chicken dishes which were then selected by closing our eyes and pointing to something on the menu. We ended up getting Chicken with cashews, General Mao's Chicken and Prawns In Citrus Sauce (Johnny's aim was quite a bit off). And we got dumplings, lots and lots of lightly fried deliciousness.

After Dib ordered we turned on the television and fought for control over the remote with Johnny, the tallest and strongest of us getting control of the remote relatively easily. He flipped through the channels finally landing on a Snuggy infomercial.

"Why the fuck are we watching this bullshit commercial, Nny?" I started scrambling for the remote I'd watch anything, _anything_, but that fucking commercial. I know for a fact that all people who wear those fucking blankets with sleeves go to Hell. Those fuckers at the company made a deal with Pepito's father a month ago that would bring in sales but would also send all wearers to the hideous depths of Hell. "I refuse to watch this shit. Give me the remote." I tackled him to the ground, knocking over a plastic cup in the process but not giving a damn, and pinned him there, forcing him to give up his control of the remote. "Finally." I changed the channel to some mindless cartoon or another, figuring that the background noise would work for the moment while we waited for our food and didn't have a movie. The doorbell rang after one episode of some show with these Asian kids who fought crime and worked at a Chinese food shop, which, obviously, made us hungrier.

Johnny looked at us quizzically. "How are we paying for this?"


End file.
